Archive for April, 2010
The Biyearly Post
Totally irrelevant
I just realised that the last post lags after its predecessor by almost an entire year. That’s pretty damn poor. In the interest of skewing statistics everywhere, or at least one of those created on the fly in my head, here is another post. That’s like two posts a year. Could be worse.
Reebok EasyTone
Well, It’s that time again, I am bothering to write something. It took a lot this time, I’ve been awake for almost 36 hours straight and TV has taken me to a point where I am almost upset with it. Why TV, WHY? I guess I can’t stay mad for long. It’s not TV’s fault, of course, it’s these advertising people. They all have their pretty little jobs (I want one), they get to play with graphics and silly ideas all day (seriously, that’s my kind of thing), yet 90% of their “creations” are so bad. I realise making up statistics here is a little ironic.
Unfortunately, lack of sleep has left me with the memory of only one ad this fair day evening. Unfortunately for Reebok, theirs stuck in my mind. Don’t get me wrong, this is no achievement on their part, the ad was the last before I switched off (the TV, that is. Mentally I have been gone for a while now). However I don’t have much to say about it so I shall rant a little about what I can remember of the other adverts. I apologise for all the brackets and the lack of details, at least these words appear to make some sense, even though most are not my first choice (for some reason my brain has given up on the nice words I know exist and has left me relatively monosyllabic, apart from the word monosyllabic of course).
I need to get this off my chest. It has been bothering me for a while now, along with the question “If I am a product of my genetics and environment, what is my role in this”. Anyhoo, why must these things lie (ads)? I guess this is a daft question, the response seems obvious – to sell to all these guffawing idiots with little else to do other than stare at a screen all day, spending their dole money on Pot Noodles and copies of Nuts. Seriously though, I would have thought this kind of thing would be illegal. Can’t some law be passed to force adverts to state at least one provable fact? Obviously this would have to be defined to not include things such as “It makes you look 10 years younger¹”.
¹ – 15% of 28 people with a height less then 5’4″ questioned randomly in the street whilst being bribed with chocolate biscuit(s) agree.
If I see an advert and it contains speech, it always seems to be trying to lie to me. I don’t like this for several reasons. 1. I have been taught not to lie, why should anyone else have this unfair advantage? This is an argument similar to my theory that all roads would be much safer, quicker and more enjoyable if no one else was allowed on them. 2. I dislike being so blatantly deemed an idiot, and by people I have never met, who are probably not even geographically, or sentimentally, close to me. 3. I am being taunted with things I want, whilst knowing that the product won’t really provide them to me. 4. Last, not least, for the first 10 seconds, I sit there nodding whilst reaching for the phone, wondering why I hadn’t realised I needed this amazing, high quality, fashionable dog muzzle at such a low price, I mean it’s been discounted twice, it must be cheap, even though 50% and then 20% discount still only adds to 60% and the initial price these discounts are being applied to was probably just reversed engineered from some silly marketing tactic. Hold on…
Another solution would be to allow only the less irrational of us the privilege of ownership of toys such as television. This however feels worryingly like ethnic cleansing, something I find as hard to agree with as writing in English without a spell checker. I should perhaps point out that English is most certainly my native tongue, or at least a version thereof, and French roles in in second place with sufficient charm and wit to be thrown out of a third world country whilst offering free money. Well, I could probably get myself a beer. I can speak quite loudly when I want to, and I take immense pride in the slow tempo of my speech.
Please see below for a thirty second insight into something which appears to me to have a slight logical flaw.
My question is this. Why would I pay more for a trainer which makes it more difficult to walk? I apologise for engaging my brain when I should have been tilting my head to check out all that ‘booty’.