The toiletry arms race
It seems every product on the shelves is in a never ending attempt to better itself and its peers. Everyone must have seen this, razors being a fine, although obvious example. How many blades would you like? Okay, I can understand ditching the cut-throat (there must be plenty of dead people who wish this had happened sooner). I can perhaps understand the need for more than one blade. However, five seems a little excessive. Also, what’s with that spare one on the back of my fusion? I’m really not sure I need it.
Unfortunately I also have the inexplicable desire to buy that new Gillette. I don’t like that I need it, but in the same way as a crack addict tends to want more crack, I want that razor. Maybe that’s a slight hyperbole. I get this strange sense of excitement when I come home from the supermarket with some new type of liquid, implement or paste that i can some way use to lengthen the amount of time I spend in the bathroom. Invariably, the sense of joy wears off after a couple of days as I discover that this new, sparklingly packaged, unnecessary object is almost exactly the same, and does exactly the same job, as that it replaced.
Unfortunately for Aquafresh, I do not want to buy their silly new toothpaste. For those who don’t spend as much time in front of the TV as me (a commendable, but easily accomplished task), this new wonder toothpaste foams. Yes, I realise most toothpaste foams, but this one looks like it’s a cross between shaving gel and toothpaste that could at any time envelop your mouth in a sticky bubbly mess of whiteness. There are several reasons this does not appeal to me.
- I do not want to be mistaken to be infected with rabies
- I have it on good authority that the only effect of the foam we currently have is to make orange juice taste horrible
- It looks expensive
- I have been brainwashed into a seriously good understanding of the fact that I am unable to reach about 40% of my mouth with a toothbrush (I’m not sure if this allows vomiting or where the mouth technically ends) to the point where I no longer care
- The advert irritates me
So STFU Aquafresh.
Again, for those who care, a video follows. Unfortunately the only people with enough time on their hands to upload an ad to YouTube were French. If you speak french, unlucky. You will have the unfortunate ability to understand their idiocy.
P.S. I swear in the French version it says something about anti-freeze. May add this to above list.
For the truly bored, http://aquafreshisoactive.com.
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